Notes of a Greasy Young Man: Van Trips

Mr. Greasy. Photo: Bandy.

Andrew Mercado is notorious—Andrew’s white van is notorious—the shit that has gone down in that van is notorious. Andrew takes his large white utility van full of skateboarders all over the place. If you have been to any large race in the past 4 years you know the van, and have probably seen in wreaking havoc. The two weeks I spent in that van were some of the most memorable experiences of my life. The feeling of being completely free from school, parents, curfews, and laws (the van has no laws and obeys no laws) was amazing. Skating most parks from NorCal to Oregon is rad. The most memorable part of these times spent on these trips is when Mercado is laughing or yelling at people. Sounds kinda creepy, but we’d wake up to, “HAHA! FUCK YEAH! WERE IN OREGON PUSSIES, NO SALES TAX. HAHAHAHA! LETS HIT MCDONALDS.” Or at night he’d be all “HAHA! YEAH WHO’S GOT PITCH FOR BEER? PITCH FOR BEER? PBR? HAHA!”

Many of you reading this thought I was greasy . . . you don’t know shit about greasy till you step foot in that van. Like one time, we were skating the Rip City bowl and I got broke off so hard, so later on that night on the way back to Eugene, OR I was lying in the aisle of the van curled up in my sleeping bag. I then felt this sticky wet feeling surrounding me. Turned out, someone left a huge McDonalds drink on the floor, it spilled, and got all over me. Classic van grease . . . I actually acquired that title GREASY on the Mayhill Festival of Speed trip. We were about 30 minutes away from Goldendale, WA on Friday night, still on the Oregon side of the river. The older guys were picking up beer (“HAHA! NO SALES TAX IN OREGON!”) before we we crossed over. It all went bad after I watched Max Capps slam a few times at the skatepark. I started messing with him (this is where his side of the story goes different from mine), then he just punched me in the nose. I started bleeding everywhere. I kept calling Max and James greasy fucks cause they were laughing at me. Anyways I started trying to wipe all the blood on them, so Mercado pulled over and let me out so I could clean up. After that incident everyone just called me greasy. . . Anyway, van trips are rad!

-Liam Morgan

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GENERAL DISCLIAMER: The statements, comments, and opinions expressed by Liam Morgan through Notes of a Greasy Young Man are those of “Mr. Greasy” himself, who is solely responsible for them, and they do not necessarily represent the views of Wheelbase LLC. Questions or comments regarding any information listed in this particular column can be addressed by contacting aliens, or channeling the spirit of Isaac Hayes.